Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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