My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
