I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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