I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
