***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
