Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
