Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
