all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
