windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
