I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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