Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
