she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
