we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
