They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
