it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
