so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
