direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
