he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
