I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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