I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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