O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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