Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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