he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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