Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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