Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
