So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
50% drunk capacity currently
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
