I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
