Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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