PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
