I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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