i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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