when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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