Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
