I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
FUCK WHALES
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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