hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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