Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
