the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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