It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
