Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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