your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
