would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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