I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
