I skipped work to stalk him.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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