why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
