...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
