the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
