But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
