This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
