4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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