i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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