We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
