I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
