the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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